Sunday, September 24, 2017
Yes, this is truly a thing. They're in the Walgreens seasonal section with all of the other Halloween paraphernalia. You get 16 for $1.99, which isn't an Earth shattering deal, but is not too bad either. There are four poses, though some of them have difficulty standing.
"Sir, you'll never believe the reports we're getting out of CINCAFMED!"
Both of the generals chuckled, and the American, a scarred 4 star army general with a prosthetic hand, told the lieutenant "Son, we've been protecting this crazy world since probably before you were born. We've heard it all."
The German, also a scarred 4 star, with an edelweiss embroidered eyepatch over his left eye, said "Try us."
"It's Karnak sir, they are saying that the ruins at Karnak are being overrun by..." He paused again.
The generals were more serious now. "Go ahead." The German urged again.
"Evil Teddy bears."
KARNAK/2215hrs/Operation Violet Salesman
The mission at Karnak started out well enough. Golem-6 took point, and thought for the first few engagements, he could have handled the whole mission without the rest of the team. Hot brass and torn stuffing tumbled across the Egyptian soil as he blasted and sawed his way through the foe.
Before long, however, as the team progressed deeper in the ruins, the cuddly foe's numbers became overwhelming.
Finally, after several hard fought encounters, the ultimate villain appeared! When the sparks were done flying, Vague Mantis Squad had triumphed again.
"You know those jerks in Dark Watchdog are just going to make fun of us for this, right?" Dot-3 asked sarcastically.
"Let 'em!" Golem-6 shot back, "You know how long it will take to get the sand out of my joints and the stuffing out of my chainsaw?"
"23 minutes?" Estimated HONE-1, dispassionately.
"...Forever!" Golem-6 responded, his vehemence deflated somewhat by the likely very accurate assessment.
"I'll help you man." MDU-L-1 quipped, "I'll have to sharpen the nicks out of my cyber cutlass anyway, the stitching on that last teddy really dinged her up!"
Dot-3 just sighed. At least they'd all survived. This time.
Hey all, just want to mention that this was a scheduled post way in advance (like a week!). Since only about part 3 is out at the moment, if you've been commenting, I have not seen it at the time of writing, so sorry if it seems like I'm unresponsive. Hope you've been enjoying the ride so far, I certainly had a blast playing. Thanks for coming along for the ride!
Saturday, September 23, 2017
Another LOAD model military robot like Golem 6, Dot 3 (not an acronym, she is simply the third physical iteration of the unit named Dot), likewise joined Vague Mantis as a placeholder rather than going into mothball storage. Dot is a slightly more creative and has more initiative than her colleague Golem 6, and has only had her chassis destroyed twice. Still, she remains a rather low spec LOAD unit, interesting primarily in that she is one of the few robotic entities to refer to herself with female pronouns.
Dot 3 is made from much the same parts as Golem 6, with the notable exception being that her head is from the LEGO movie robot madame, and her helmet is from KREO Mutt. She wields a Mega Bloks Call of Duty rifle, and a LEGO pistol, which will count, conveniently enough, as a rifle and pistol.
Didn't mean for Dot 3's write-up to be one of the shortest, but that's a symptom of coming after Golem, where I detailed the LOAD-type Robots' backstory. Mostly this is all just to explain why she's the only squad member with painted on mascara and lipstick. Meh.
Friday, September 22, 2017
In the early 22nd century, Maritime Shipping was revolutionized by the 'Bullet Ship,' a type of magnetically driven cargo vessel which used an electromagnetic propulsion system to travel at high speed by acting against the metal present in seawater in the same way that a bullet train works off of the rails. By 2166, however, most maritime shipping had been supplanted by orbital cannon delivery and re-entry ports, obviating the need for expensive maritime vessels, ports, and distribution centers. The impact on the human workforce was negligible, as most of these roles had long been taken by robotic entities.
One such supplanted entity, however, was High-Speed Oceanic Navigation Emulator 1 (HONE-1, pronounced H-1-1, and not Honey, unless you want to hurt his feelings). The shipping conglomerate to which he belonged, however, was at an impasse as to how to dispose of him. He was obsolete, certainly, but his expensive and sophisticated programming meant simply scrapping or mothballing would be a costly waste. Around the same time, however, R.E.D.I. was looking for robot bargains to staff Vague Mantis Squad, and HONE-1 was whisked away to governmental service.
Not designed for military service, HONE-1 nonetheless has a functioning articulation and power plant, and a high order analytical processor. His spatial awareness and mathematical acumen mean he has excellent aim and (of course) navigation skills. On the downside, he is more self aware than a typical military robot, and is somewhat prissy, often putting him at odds with the rough and tumble military lifestyle.
HONE-1 is made from a Castle Knight legs and body, the head of the wind-up robot from the blind bag wave, a Brick Warriors tactical vest, a LEGO revolver from the blind bag bandito, and Brick Warriors steampunk rifle. His weapons will count as a pistol and shotgun.
Thursday, September 21, 2017
In the earliest phase of the Robotic Earth Defense Initiative, emphasis was placed on rapidly establishing defensive coverage over large geographical regions while minimizing financial impact on member nations. Thus, many stopgap temporary units were put in place, such as the Low Overhead Automatic Defender (LOAD) model. The unfortunate acronym in no way helped ease the impact of the simple fact that the LOAD units performed sub-par to purpose built machines from other manufacturers in many regards.
Fortunately for the design bureau, the fact that 4-6 LOAD units could be manufactured for the cost of a single purpose built machine meant that the model's high criticality (unit failure) rate became a non issue when any threat could simply be swarmed with cheap, disposable LOADs.
By 2155, however, maintenance and storage costs were becoming onerous, and more capable purpose built machines were become available in greater numbers, the remaining LOAD robots were pulled out of front line service, and mothballed. However, when the Vague Mantis squad was formed, a few such units were assigned to the team as placeholders, and then left there when command oversight simply forgot about them.
Golem 6 is one such unit. A low performing example of a low performing type, Golem 6 was named as such by a team technician that pointed out, that, even for a robot, Golem executed tasks in a mechanical and thoughtless manner.
Golem 6 is made from the body and armor of a Blind Bagged Space Miner. The head of the LEGO movie Robot Miner, a LEGO bank robber watch cap, and a Brick Warriors Saw Rifle (Lancer), which will count as a rifle and saber.
Wednesday, September 20, 2017
At the same time I purchased the other, largely identical Sparrow set on Clearance at WalMart, I also got this one. Aside from the Guardian figure being different, the this is pretty much a color swap. The Sparrows, Captains, and Shanks are identical. This one comes with what I think is a Warlock with autorifle rather than Hunter with handcannon. So there's that.
All the pluses and minuses we covered in the earlier post applies, though if you didn't like the colors of that one, maybe you'll like this one better!
In 2160, in an ill conceived budgetary boondoggle, R.E.D.I.'s then-chairman Quentin Throckmorton VII launched the Lunar Defense Project. Launched being used only figuratively, as the initiative literally never got off the ground. Cooler heads prevailed when someone pointed out that nothing ever happened on the moon, and that a defense unit for said moon would be a complete waste of: resources, time, money, and pretty much anything else used in the endeavor. All funding and staff for the project were diverted to other divisions by January 2161, though a single, prototype, unit had been built and initialized.
That unit being none other than MDU-L1 (pronounced 'Metal!' - guitar riff-). The MDU-L1 was cutting edge technology...forty years ago. Though well armored, he was built for the lower gravity environment of the moon, and has a less than sufficient powerplant for terrestrial movement. As such, MDU-L1 is obliged to use his maneuvering thrusters to maintain normal speed while on Earth. As the thruster reaction is Sulfur based, and makes a distinctive, almost biological bleating, MDU-L1 is constantly surrounded by the smell and sound of human flatulence. Fortunately most of his co-workers are also older model robots, and not equipped for olfactory detection. He was assigned to the Vague Mantis Squad as a heavy assault trooper.
MDU-L1 is made from the orange Clone trooper as well as the head, chest piece, and helmet of the Orange Space Robot from the blind pack waves. I didn't do that on purpose, I simply do not remember where I put his body. I might have used it for something else, maybe Butt the Batarian? His weapon is a Terrorizer MG from Brick Warriors, and the Fallen Captain's Cyber Cutlass from the Destiny Sparrow set. This will count as an Elephant Gun and Saber in the rules I will be using.